Did You Superglue That Hat To Your Head?
by LJ-Of-Asgard
Summary: Crackfic! In which the Avengers are buds with Irish rock gods, U2. It can only go downhill when Tony and Bono are left to their own devices with Bruce and a taser. /First fic, total nonsense and a bit OOC/


**A.N: Total crackfic. It hasn't been edited or beta'd and is simply the result of myself going completely nuts and after not being outside for 4 days, it was bound to happen. Apologies for excessive OOCness - it was just one of those things you had to write before you ended up loosing it completely, y'know? :P**

"Try the taser!" Tony clapped his hands excitedly as he watched Bono rummaging around in one of his many cupboards. The two men were quite content with amusing themselves down in Tony's workshop, where all manners of bots and broken-down dummies were stored, much to Edge's fascination.

Bruce Banner stood over a workbench, fingers dancing across a hologram of what appeared to be the newly-renovated Avengers Tower in NYC. It had been 6 months since Loki's attack, and even now the team felt themselves growing cold every time they had a passing thought of that day. Closing down the hologram and turning to Tony, Bruce folded his arms and his brows knitted in slight annoyance.  
"Tony, I appreciate you really want to make acquaintances with, er, The Other Guy, but in your workshop?" The scientist took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, tucking his glasses into his shirt pocket as he waited for a response.

"Oof!" Bono managed to whack the back of his head on the top of the cupboard he was currently half submerged in, much to Edge's amusement. Tony grimaced, knowing the pain that the sturdy metal frames could inflict upon one's head.

"You okay there, gramps?" Tony shot a snarky remark Bono's way, and was greeted with a taser flying towards him at an alarming speed. He yelped and threw himself to the floor with a dull 'oomph!' as the taser clattered to the ground behind him.  
"Call me that again and I won't miss!" the singer stood up, narrowing his eyes at Tony, who was pulling himself up with the help of one of his workbenches. One look at Bono confirmed that the man was joking, as his lips were pulled into a half-hearted smirk.

"Okay, big guy, time to test this baby." Tony had picked up the taser and flipped it, catching it with ease.

"Stark!" Steve broke in loudly as he descended the stairs to the workshop, but was denied access by JARVIS in all his british politeness.

"What have I told you about provoking Bruce!" the captain exclaimed exasperatedly, like a parent scolding a small child for breaking their mother's favourite vase.

"Uh, not to do it?" Tony was paying more attention to the taser as he flicked it on and advanced on Bruce.

"I have to agree with Steve, Tony, is this really a good idea? Here, of all places? I mean, you have a disturbingly large live electric current pouring through this room." Edge joined in the conversation, moving away from inspecting one of the broken-down bots that Tony stored in what seemed to be a series of garages. Indoor garages. The corrugated iron door slid shut behind Edge, who advanced over to Bono with a stern look.

"Oh, relax!" Bono gave Edge a friendly punch in the shoulder and went over to Tony. "Bruce doesn't mind, right?"

"Well, I'd prefe-"  
"See?" Tony turned to Edge with a bright smile, disregarding the guitarist's fears.

Two floors up in the rather extensive and marble adorned kitchen sat Adam and Larry, who were perched upon barstools tentatively holding mugs of just-brewed coffee. Opposite them sat a rather familiar, imposing figure, clad in dark leather and green cloth, adorned in golden armour. He had a small espresso in front of him as his spear rested besides him upon the counter, and Larry felt himself unable to take his eyes away from it in fear of being blasted to pieces by the man sitting opposite him.  
"You worry that I will turn on you, Lawrence?" the silky smooth voice that belonged to Loki disrupted the silence. Larry blinked and turned his attention to the god, fear flashing momentarily in his eyes.  
"N-no." the drummer replied. "Just, er, admiring the, uh.. engravings."

"I see. They are rather exquisite." Loki nodded, taking a sip of the espresso. "Hand carved by the finest blacksmiths in Alfheim." He added as an afterthought.

"Let me get this right, the others don't know you're here?" Larry cut to the chase, hands flat on the bar, ready to push himself away should the god go totally cray-cray on their arses.

"No." Loki replied simply, a small smile tugging at his pale lips.

"Are you supposed to be here?" Adam spoke quietly, he kind of felt sorry for the guy.

"No." Loki smiled wider.

"Are you gonna go?" Larry raised an eyebrow.

"No." Loki broke out into a full-on grin.

The awkward silence that followed was interrupted by a loud crash and several panicked voices rising from Tony's workshop. The three people in the kitchen immediately jumped from their seats in surprise, the grin had been wiped off Loki's face. Larry was the first to run down the stairs, followed by Loki and then Adam.

Tony had rather clumsily, attacked Bruce with the taser. It didn't do much the first time, so Tony did it again. Bruce twitched alarmingly, and Edge got ready to bolt through the fire exit. However, in doing so, he managed to step upon a live wire that was connected to –for whatever reason- one of Tony's cars. The sudden pause in the electric feed to the car caused the engine to severely malfunction and promptly explode, sending everything and everyone flying in all directions.

As the dust and debris settled amongst bits of burning car and various electronic gadgets, Tony coughed and batted a hand in front of his blackened face, trying to source the sudden explosion. He saw the ruined car and felt his heart sink, and with a loud roar of "YOU BLEW UP MY BABY!", had alerted the other people in the room to his whereabouts.

Edge had become part of a garage wall, his indent was rather like he'd been caught in the mid-arc of a starjump. He too, had a blackened face; however, his black beanie had remained glued to his head, which led a rather confused Tony to question whether he had actually glued his hat to his head.

Bono had been closest to the car, and so had been propelled through the air, rather extravagantly, into the bonnet of one of Tony's remaining cars, leaving a rather big indent. Groggily, he looked up, feeling a sharp pain run up his neck. His glasses had remained on his face, much to his own surprise. This further prompted Tony to question whether every member of U2 had some accessory of some description glued to their head and whether it was some kind of entry ritual that had gone wrong and they'd suffered with severe fears of superglue for the past 35 years

Cap had been behind the safety of the bulletproof glass, but the force of the explosion had caused him to lose his balance and slam into the metal wall of the corridor. Groaning, he simply sat up and sighed, muttering "I told him not to." rather dejectedly.

A random Hawkeye was suspended over the room, his foot caught in a rope that he hid in his literal nest that Tony had installed for him as a joke, but Clint had taken quite a liking to it and liked to hang out in it. A lot. He had ignored the chaos going on below, until the whole car exploding thing, the force of which had sent him careering out of the nest.

"Nice goin', whoever blew up that car." Clint muttered sarcastically.

Bursting into the room after stepping over a muttering Cap, Larry was greeted with the alarming sight. Edge then proceeded to fall out of the garage door with a loud 'Oof!' as he faceplanted the ground, alerting Adam to the location of his friend.

"Hm." Loki surveyed his surroundings with a hint of amusement, before Clint had noticed the god and started yelling frantically, which was rather unlike him, but seeing as he was suspended in mid-air and couldn't pull himself up, he really had no other choice.

Tony looked up at Clint's scream, saw the god, but was too winded to even bother doing anything.  
"Hey, guys, is my hair on fire?" Bono caught a tiny whiff of burning hair, which had alarmed him. Tony looked over at his new found friend, and snorted.  
"No, but you lost half an eyebrow. My condolences." Tony coughed, and Bono let himself fall back into his indent with a dull thud.

"Where's Bruce?" Tony continued to ignore the screaming Hawkeye and the fact that Loki was in his workshop. He looked around, eyes re-adjusting. Bruce was lying face down on the floor, clothes slightly singed, sure enough, he was growling and starting to hulk-out, but then he realized that a rather amused looking god of mischief had happily sat himself on top of the scientist, cross-legged and facing the rest of the group. Bruce had started to calm down slightly, violent growls quietening to angry muttering.  
Loki soon realized everyone was staring at him, mostly angrily but also pretty confused. Shrugging, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Must be my calming aura."


End file.
